Crushed
by Zok.Zok.Abbey
Summary: A young girl by the name of Tanner Comings has to deal with the problem at hand... and soon. The possibility of her boyfriends brother, Joe, liking her is just to big to ignore. But that doesn't mean she can't try.
1. Define Crushed

**Authors Notes:** Hey. A new story! Brand new, in fact. This whole story is a very personal subject. Im not claiming to have written the story at the end... it just inspired me to write this. My brothers friend wrote it, and I thought "What if it was about someone my age?" and this came out of my over active Jonas imagination. Oh how I need a life. But yeah, The story isn't about me or anyone I know, just working from what Nick (happens to be the guys name, hah) wrote because it was so pretty.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own JB or the short story at the end!

**Subject: Oh god. I'm liked.**

I know what your thinking. Someone having a crush on you is never a bad thing. But it is when he's three years older, and I'm dating his brother. Its a stupid thing to assume, and I'm probably making an ass of you and me but... Honestly, I'm scared shit-less. Maybe I should go into some details for you, starting with mine. My name is Tanner Comings, I'm fifteen, with chocolate brown hair and violet eyes, and I think my boyfriends brother, Joe Jonas, likes me.

My sister. HOW can I do this to her? She's had a crush on Joe for like, a month. Maybe two. How DARE I do this to her? She's completely infatuated with him.

And then, there's the part of me saying that I need to be calm. That it doesn't have to be about me. Its just likely. Not even likely, Unlikely. The girl he likes must just... have a lot of things in common with me. Hell, I'm not even sure if he likes her. It was a STORY. Meaning it could be fictional. But, no. It seems to real. I hope its fiction. I'll have dodged a big one. You wouldn't guess Joe to be a writer, or amazing at getting feelings out, would you? But both are true. He blogs a lot (under a fake name, of course) and recently he posted a short story. It just... I can't explain. I'll attach it at the end of this email.

Mia, I know we don't know each other. I know I've only met you once... we didn't exchange anything but names and emails, but for some reason I felt the NEED to send to you. Maybe it's because we don't know each other, that I'm sending this. That factor, that key factor, that if you judged it wouldn't matter because we aren't friends seems to take place in my mind and I can not shake it. This whole thing is weird and personal, and I hate it.

I suppose I'll give you more details. Nick Jonas and I have been dating for a year. We're happy, honestly. He's the sweetest boy I've ever met, and he always seems to know when I'm down or worried. Which makes this harder. I don't hide things from him. Its just not how I roll. How in the world am I going to get away with this? I feel dirty and guilty and I've lost my train of thought. Oh right-- how perfect Nick is. I'm not sure why I feel guilty about this. Its not my fault. But I feel like it is. Okay, now on to Joe. Though Nick and I are dating, I'm close to his brothers. And Joe and I are closer than the others (minus Nick, of course), we just seem to click, personality wise. We can joke around and be stupid, and whatnot. I've always thought of him as a big brother.

He always steals my Sidekick, but the key guard is always on. And he complains. He tells me its stupid, and I should let him see it. I just smile. There's nothing on my phone I don't want him to see, but for me, my phone is personal. I don't share it with others often. Not even my sister gets to see it. Actually, the only person I've let play with it is Nick. Its just... like a part of me. And Joe is a total idiot. He'll play with anything in my room, including my cheap rip off aviator sunglasses (he has many pictures in them) and its just strange. He's like my older brother. NOT a... crush. If you could see me, a look of sadness came upon my face upon typing that. Crush. What an awful word. Crush –verb (used with object)

1. to press or squeeze with a force that destroys or deforms.

2. to squeeze or pound into small fragments or particles, as ore, stone, etc.

3. to force out by pressing or squeezing; extract: to crush cottonseeds in order to produce oil.

4. to rumple; wrinkle; crease.

5. to smooth or flatten by pressure: to crush leather.

6. to hug or embrace forcibly or strongly: He crushed her in his arms.

7. to destroy, subdue, or suppress utterly: to crush a revolt.

8. to overwhelm with confusion, chagrin, or humiliation, as by argumentation or a slighting action or remark; squelch.

9. to oppress grievously.

10. Archaic. to finish drinking (wine, ale, etc.).

–verb (used without object)

11. to become crushed.

–noun

12. the act of crushing; state of being crushed.

13. a great crowd: a crush of shoppers.

So, you see, it's an ugly word. It's a word I don't want to be a part of, not since I have Nick. Its a word that makes me want to cringe.

Here, is the story that's made me so mentally freaked. Do with it what you may, but please don't crush me with your word, Mia. I'm stupid and I'm jumping to assumptions.

_I've been toiling away in the holes of my mind trying to find some way to answer your message. I've come close to just saying to leave me alone, but for some unforeseen reason, I cannot bring myself to do such a thing. This is a story to you, interpret it as you will. As I am sure you will and I'll always hold the true meaning of this story to myself. You, however, will never know the true meaning unless by some chance you stumble upon it whilst looking through the window of your old folks home when you are old and have a sudden epiphany. It will be to late, of course, for I will be long dead. But I shall not dwell on that. This is a story I developed when we were together. It's been in my mind all of this time, and for the first time, I am writing it down._

_Waking up for the first time, sheltered, cold, and in a completely euphoric state. I rise to the sound of nothing in a room I don't quite recognize, had this place been the same the night before? Had some magical fairy maids come in while we were asleep and redecorated the once decent room into some floral nightmare? It is quite possible, we know magic exists, we know. But for all of this, I don't care. I'm here, you're here, it doesn't matter. I lightly place my arm across your falsely smooth naked body as to not wake the vengeful gods above and drift back to sleep._

_In my sleep I see simply the many colors of the world. The shades of purples and blues dancing in your eyes across to the dark empty shades of mine. I hear nothing, just see. I don't need to hear, we don't need to hear. But from this reality I am stolen by the ringing of a telephone, not just any telephone, your elusive cellular phone. I'll never quite understand what was hiding behind those tacky aviator shades that that particular cellular device seemed to always wear, but I bet it was up to no good. Never seemed to be anyway. You answer, it's a friend, he's coming to get you. We drift back to sleep, but this time we put our clothes back on._

_The room shakes as though it's signaling the end of times. You let your friend in, he crashes on the bed next to us. He's jealous, he doesn't have what we have or maybe not what we have, but what we stand for. In that moment we stand for love, not only sex, not only the uproarious bullshit that is the monotony of the day, but love. It's a funny feeling, love. Not at all what the movies describe, I didn't have butterflies, I did not have have that feeling of uneasiness or uncertainty. I was more confident than ever, I was more aware than ever, but not to you only to what surrounded me. Was it love then? We drift back to sleep._

_At the end of it all, a glance that could change the world and a handshake were exchanged. If only that glance landed accurately, things might have been different. Things might have been different. We drift back to sleep._

I hope you see the problem, Mia.

Xoxo,

Tanner.


	2. Guilty Pleasure

**Authors Notes: **I didn't really think I was gonna continue this, but in all honesty, my writers block was so strong for FMB, it unblocked this! Its short, but needed. Fans of From My Balcony, I PROMISE it will come... sometime. _  
_

**Disclaimer:** Don't own JB, the song Guilty Pleasure by Cobra Starship, or Kodak.

Here you lads go...!

_And I came here to make you dance tonight,_

_I don't care about my guilty pleasure for you._

_"_Joe, can I talk to you?" He looked at me nervously. Nervously. He has never been nervous around me. Way to play it cool, Joe. He nodded, and glanced at Kevin before we both headed to the porch. It was one of those porches that wrapped around the whole house, and I absolutely love it. I sat on the wood chair, nervously tapping my foot. Nervous. That seems to make two of us. He leaned against the railing, his back to the setting sun. It hit his hair perfectly and it would have been an amazing picture. "Joe..."

I've been over analyzing the story, lately. We didn't sleep together. We haven't even KISSED. But, once upon a time, Joe Jonas admitted he writes what he wants. He writes about all the things he can't have in real life. Does that mean he... wants to BE WITH ME? That's way to much for me to handle. "Yep?" He asked, in a oblivious voice. I gave him a 'look'. And it took about five whole minutes for him to realize what I was talking..or, not, about. His eyes widened, "Oh, shit. That wasn't about you!" He avoided eye contact. He may be a lot of things, but a good liar is NOT one of them.

_And, I don't even know,_

_What kind of fool your taking me for,_

"GOD! JOE!" I jumped out of the chair with great speed, putting my hands on my face. "This is BAD." I nearly yelled, but remembering Kevin and NICK were inside, I simply loud-spoke-hush-yelled.

He glared and moved, making the Kodak Picture Moment get ruined, over to the other side of the porch, so his back was facing me. "You think I didn't know that? I've been avoiding this for a year and a fucking half." I paused, as he turned to face me, but making sure there was a big distance between us. "I can't take it anymore."

_Oh brother spare us all,_

_We don't care anymore,_

_We just wanna get down on the floor,_

_You sell yourself to make it,_

_You can dish it,_

_But can you really take it?_

I gulped. And as if I were about to die, all the moments with Joe I've ever had flashed before me. When I was fourteen and decided I was old enough to date someone older, and Joe's face scrunched in a way I couldn't place when I told him. And then, a month later, after Trance (His name) and I broke up, I had started dating Nick, the emotion on his face was there even more strong, but I just. couldn't. place. it. I realize was it was, now. Pain. Honest to goodness pain. And then I thought about how he felt after he and AJ broke up, and how I felt. I was happy. I wanted him to be with someone else.

Me.

Oh my god. "I...think I really liked you...like..." I muttered in utter shock.

_I came here to make you dance tonight_

_I don't care about my guilty pleasure for you_

_Shut up cause we won't stop_

_and we're getting down till the sun's coming up_

"What?" He froze, just like I had. I frowned. "Oh my god."

I looked up to him in pain.

We're idiots.

_I'm so bored, oh please don't talk anymore_

_Shut your mouth and get down on the floor_

_So cynical_

_Poor baby I can dish it cause I know how to take it_

And he kissed me. And I kissed back. and I liked it. God.


	3. Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet?

_I think you know what I'm getting at  
I find it so upsetting that  
The memories that you select  
You keep the bad but the good you just forget_

"Joe. No." I broke apart from Joe Jonas filled with fear. In the movies, this would be the time Nick comes out to ask whats up. He'd see us so close and hate me. He didn't. and I could feel myself staring at the door longinly. I'd much rather he end it now. Cut it clean. I'm not the type of girl to cheat on my boyfriend. I just can't. End of story. But... Joe. I like Joe so much. Nick is my past, and future, and I love him so much. But... I have no idea what to do with this. I didn't even know I liked Joe until about five minutes ago. This is way too much for a poor fifteen year old to deal with. "I have to... go." And I bolted, as fast as I could, through the two story house I was staying at for the summer with the Jonas family (oh...yay?) and up the old house stairs. When I got the my room (well, it was all the teens room, there was like, five beds in there) I threw myself on the best and cried for at least twenty minutes. God, I'm such a wimp. But after that I pulled my laptop out and opened my email. A new message. From Mia.

It read: Tanner,

I can see your problem. Having JOE JONAS liking you must suck. : P Of course, I'm only joking. I can see the worry in your letter. My words of advice, from an older, wiser, awesomer, chick, no... not Jessica Simpson, me, would be to chill it with Joe for a while. You know, stop hanging out as much. Maybe his crush will pass.

No kissing. AHAHAHA. Nice to meet you...again.

Mia.

A little late. No such help. I felt more tears produce in my eyes and I shut the laptop and slid it under my bed once again.

_And even though I'm angry I can still say  
I know my heart will break the day  
When you peel out and drive away  
I can't believe this happened_

I heard the door open and close, but I didn't look up from my hands. The tears wouldn't stop. I can't help it. My face was drenched. Great. I felt the bed move in a certain spot, indicating it was being sat upon. And it didn't help me at all. I don't want to know who it is. It's bad any way. Frankie would just cheep me up. Kevin would 'talk' to me, which I don't want to do right now. All I feel like doing is passing out. Nick would kiss me and try and cheer me up. And he would, by just being there. But the guilt factor would eat at my heart. And Joe... I don't want to think about what he would do. My sister is in Paris this summer, so no worries there. And currently, there's no one else it could be. Please be Frankie, please be Frankie... and... I glanced up so quickly my eyes hurt. But it's most definaltly Nick. Aweee man.  
_  
And all this time I never thought  
That all we had would be all for none_

He wrapped his arms around me. No questions asked...yet. They'll come and full force. And I'll be a lying jerk. And I know this. But with his arms around me, I let his scent engolf me completely. "Are you alright?" He asked. I shivered. How can I told him. I just cried more, pushing him away from me. "Whats wrong?" He asked timidly.

I didn't look up from my bed. Just continued to cry as I spoke. "Joe... kissed me. And I kissed back."  
_  
No, I don't hate you  
Don't want to fight you  
Know I'll always love you  
But right now I just don't like you  
No, I don't hate you  
Don't want to fight you  
Know I'll always love you  
But right now I just don't like you  
Cause you took this too far (too far)_

"W-what?"


	4. Empty

Disclaimer: Don't own JB, or anything else named.

* * *

_Another night goes by without sleeping  
Cause I know I won't wake up next to you  
Another life goes by without dreaming  
And I can't help but think that mine will too_

Nicholas Jonas bolted off the bed, like I had a flesh eating disease. I swear. Or maybe like I'd told him that Santa wasn't real, or that Barney was really a pedophile. His eyes were wide and his face was heart-breaking. I really wish I could describe it, but I can't. It just had heartache written all over it, and I knew I wasn't insane for thinking that's how he was feeling. He didn't overreact. But he didn't pretend he wasn't bothered by it. "Do you love him?" He asked, his voice full of emotion.  
_  
I'm standing before you  
With this label on my head  
I'm pleading before you  
For you to understand_

"NicK, that's not fair," I managed through my tears. "I just figured out I may have feelings for hi--"

"Do you even love me?" He asked. His voice was accusing me of doing the exact opposite.

I looked at him with pleading eyes, "Nick, you know I do."

"I thought I did," He retaliated. "But maybe I was wrong." I reached out to touch his hand, to tell him he wasn't wrong, I DO love him, but as I did he pulled back as if I'd burned him. _"Don't touch me."_

I gently set my hand back on my lap. "I'm sorry, Nick." I told him this with shame. "I'm horrible. I guess I've never realized it, but I think I've always had a small crush on him." And it's true. Joe can make me laugh so hard, and he's so sweet, but right now I'm not laughing and I'm in the mood for sour. Not literally, of course. I'd be in the mood for sweet if thats what Nick was acting like. But I understand him being angry.  
_  
Baby it's you  
When I look up in the sky I see you  
Then I turn and close my eyes and it's you  
When I'm sitting all alone in my room  
Everything reminds me of you_

I covered my face with my hands. "I've ruined everything, haven't I?" I cried softly. I know I did. Joe did too. We got caught up in ourselves, and we let his brother and my boyfriend get hurt.

Nick didn't lie, but he wasn't being as forceful as before. He just sigh as he sat on the bed across from mine. "Yes."

Somehow, knowing he was being honest and not trying to comfort me when he was so obviously in pain as well made me feel better, even if it would make others feel worse. I'm not sure why. "Are you going to break up with me?"

It took him a while to answer. I was beginning to think he wouldn't, but he did, "I'm not sure." he paused, whispering softly, "I think so." We sat there in complete silence for over ten minutes, with me crying into my hands, and I'm not sure what he was doing, but after I was sure one of us was going to freak out over the silence, I heard a footsteps and a click, and I knew he left the room.  
_  
The time is slow and I am sinking  
Into a hole blackened with lies  
And though I made it myself  
You stand watching as my life passes me by_

I felt myself curling into a ball in the middle of the bed, letting it sink in. Nick and I just broke up. Nick and I, the couple everyone thought would last forever. Even his fans! The ones that want to marry him! I can't feel anything. I just stared at the empty Jones bottle on the desk, letting my lip twitch every so often, and letting my eyes burn from the tears that kept pouring out.

I accept the fact that I like Joe. I accept it. But I love Nick. I have for forever! He's the only one I've ever loved. So why can't I run up to him and tell him the kiss with Joe meant nothing?  
_  
Baby it's you_

Because I think I know, that it DID mean something. And I hate that fact.


End file.
